Long live astrologers.

" The company has won the best employer of Asia award last year and there is no doubt on job security ",He added patting his moustache ." And our share price has gone up this year "
"Ohh , is it ?", exclaimed Neethu as she was planning to buy some .
Her pearl necklace which she forcefully put around my neck that morning has started irritating. I could feel the weight of the ear ring which held two arrays of white stones in its silver backbone.
" We get away to Pondichery on weekends , most of our friends are there " , Neethu glanced meaningfully at me since we knew Pondichery is the booz paradise . I was watching two old women wrapped in fine silk having Idlis , the only other customers in the restaurant. Their nose studs looked like nuts and bolts made of gold.
" Whats the nature of your work ?" , he asked and Neethu was explaining some thing . I wondered I have already explained this thing over phone hours ago. Once Neethu finished he talked about the business that the company he work for do and the number of offices they have in India.
" Why don't you talk ?", I wished to say that I was recollecting my employers financial status in the last quarter .But I ended up with " Me?...Oh...yeah , you have a sister ,right?" , He had shared that information over phone.
"Yes , she is married", he said quite unconcerned.
"OK....so you did your graduation before PG ,right?" Every one gave me a puzzled look and I corrected myself ," I mean... from which college?".He said some college name.
"Is that all you wish to know ?", even Neethu was looking at my face .I decided to admit frankly " Eh ...I 'm first time into a scene like this ...so ..." , I tried to smile as brightly as possible so that I can hide my unhappiness. I tried to have the juice but the heavy breakfast which went inside my stomach just 30 minutes ago prevented me from that.
It all started with a phone call from my father the previous day . Some close friends has come up with a wedding proposal and you may receive a call from them .He tried to sound casual but he couldn't. I asked him if he wanted me to get married and sent away . "You are not going to marry this one I'm sure, but the obligation to this friend who came with the proposal ....You can refuse after meeting the guy but turning down the invitation to meet will be inappropriate. And after all its nothing like sending 'away ' ...they too are from the North Kerala."
I nearly screamed, "Why do you think of the possibilities and all these North Kerala stuff...you said this is just ...."
"yes ,it is ....Just informing...", dad finished.
After a while I got a call from this guy very politely introducing himself.A few seconds later he started like
' I have studied this subject , working in this company , I have dad , mom ans a sister at home,she is married , my height ,my weight .............' Felt like I was a recruiter and this candidate has given all the details including his vital status.
He continued like filling the form to join a social network 'what my friends think of me, the city I like to work , the food I crave for....' I got enough time to Google his name while talking and I was surprised by Google's accuracy .The first result was his name and same thing happened with Orkut and Facebook .I went through and tried to find out reasons to avoid the meeting . But this guy had a perfectly diplomatic profile.At the end the meeting place was decided , the restaurant which is famous for Dosas and sweets which smell ghee.
"Ha ha ha ha....", that was Neethu's response ( Why ? ) .
Another friend asked ," why don't you feel interested? Planning for higher studies?"
I said ," No.At least , not very soon "
She lowered her voice ," Got a crush ?"
"You know Rahul Dravid and Tom Cruise are already married ."
"Oh ...You still fantasise those old men !! " She continued,"...Then what ? This is your perfect age to get married."
A cousin who used to argue about being single and enjoying the freedom of life advised ," Go and meet the guy , at least you can blog about it ."

Neethu agreed to accompany me after half an hour of compulsion and we made it to the restaurant next morning. Plenty of time left to the appointment , we had a heavy breakfast .The guy accompanied by a friend arrived after we finished our breakfast and they ordered some fruit juice.
After a while of my aloofness , every body stopped talking .By that time almost all possible questions were asked and facts were informed. The official declaration of the end of meeting came . The waiter brought the bill and placed it at the center of the table as he was not sure who is responsible for payment.

"Its already late for you , you can leave .We 'll settle the bill ." I offered as humbly as possible.His obsession about his employer was not enough to make it to Mr.Punctual title.
"Any way I'm late , I can wait for the bill too.I'll pay ", we gave in when they moved the bill to their side and he pulled out the notes of hundred from his wallet, obviously more than what costs for four fruit juices in an ordinary Chennai restaurant. But he looked at the bill and the currency in his hand.I wondered if they have specified ' payment in South African Rand only '.He put his hands again in the wallet but there were not enough hundreds and he started searching for his cardholder.Meanwhile his friend glanced into the bill and took money from his pocket and closed the bill . Neethu and I wondered how come four juices cost that much .
On the way back Neethu said her hands still smell of the ghee from the breakfast .Suddenly everything made sense.........money,bill,blank looks , going through the bill again and silently paying the bill.They gave a combined bill for our breakfast and the additional juices. Those guys didn't had a clue that we had our breakfast there till they got the bill and they payed for it too .And we ...had forgotten about that part of the bill totally.
Embarrassed we were heading to work , again my phone showed my fathers number and he informed me that some astrologer advised not even to think of wedding for next one year.
Some times I do support astrologers too .


Pic courtesy :gaming today

Wanna buy a train .

I had typed this some months ago and had discarded then itself. Since my blog is starving now a days I'm posting it here.

Warning: This post may contain emotional outbursts which may not suit some readers.

Lemme be straight .I missed my train a couple of hours ago.Now what came to your mind may be a girl looking outside the vehicle impatiently in a traffic jam and gazing at her watch frequently.On reaching the railway station she runs behind the moving train and stops a little bent,panting at the end of the platform.But my case is completely different.
I had booked this ticket one month ago.Unlike my usual sun day night journeys to Chennai , this time it is a Mon day.Obviously a different train but I didn't notice.I was very reluctant to leave home while it rains.I wanted to be here and enjoy every drop of the season.The train and schedule was programmed in my mind according to the usual one.I didn't bothered to see the train name,number or time.I had enough time during the day so that I visited the aunt who was the last in my visiting list.I packed my things as if I had to engage my time with something.
When it was time to leave dad started asking the routine reminders of keeping keys,ID cards,purse....I got irritated ," I'm no more a kid.I know how to take care of such things".This time it was he who got irritated. I again started talking under my lips about leaving home so early . Dad and mom kept quiet this time . We bought hot banana chips and halwa on the way , still one more hour left. As we reached the railway station mom noticed it was almost empty.I couldn't find any info about Chennai express.I approached information counter.When I said Chennai express , the one who was in that counter demanded my ticket."This is a Chennai mail ticket.The train left 2 hours ago ".I could make out every thing in that moment.A flash blinded me for that moment.

I was so embarrassed to face my parents.But we thought of alternatives and ended up with a decision to leave tomorrow.I phoned my superior and got leave for tomorrow too.On the way back , dad kept advising me one after another.I nodded my head in a certain interval.And he hit back with my own point ," You 'll be a kid for us always..."
....Hope I didn't burst emotionally .
I took a resolution to be more careful in everything so that I 'll loose the label " care less".

Later my friends asked me 'Jeeth syndrome?' ...Oh yeah I have watched 'Jab we met' many times.

365 days

I completed one year of the cubicle life this week along with thirty of my peers. It was on the 13Th of October 2008 we were summoned for training to the beautiful coastal city of Mangalore. Mangalore was slowly recovering from the riots and curfews were just called off a week ago.Every one who talked about the place was in all praise of it .Serene beaches , delicious sea food , yet to be polluted and spoiled. The name of the training academy(ELLA) reminds Ella Fitzgerald ( They have kept a picture of her some where inside the campus ) . We were thirty people whose address ends with names of different states in India.
Those days starting early in the morning and ending late at night were the most enjoyed days of my life , keeping the examination part aside.A quick visit to Mangala Devi temple on the days of exams , definitely to bribe the goddess and once the results are announced , to thank . Pani Puri in front of the temple and tender coconut on the way back .

We used to stay in the class room till 12 'o clock every night , to study only if it is the previous day of exam otherwise to play computer games. Evenings at the Amphitheater , noodles as a synonym of food, weekends shopping at HampanKatta , Rinku Punjabi Dhaba,movies , the house keeper sighing at my unmade bed and wardrobe which was a total mess , the cultural fests , birthday celebrations , a few trips ......incredible , I should say . Diwali and New Year were celebrations to cherish . After three months we were all send to different locations , the worst part being 4 of our friends being eliminated.
Those days will remain as one of the most favorite part of my life and the months followed in Chennai were no less wonderful .
On this occasion I wish my friends happy anniversary and a prosperous time ahead .

Vidyarambham

When I was offering prayers I could hear kids crying and screaming from the other part of the temple.Its Vijaya Dashami today , observed as 'Vidyarambham ' in Kerala , which literally means the starting of learning process.Kids at the age of 3 or 4 start their 'formal' education on this day.Being asked to pronounce strange Sanskrit lines scares the kids.I have vague memories of my Vidyarambham.I could recite "Hari shree Ganapathaye Nama: " even before the priest dictated because of my father's effort on the previous day.I glanced at my father's face every now and then and he nodded smiling.Writing the same in red rice felt like a game. ( I had tried this at home many times after Vidyarambham and had got scolded for spilling rice ).Then the priest wrote the same on my tongue with a golden ring.That was years ago.
I made my way through the crowd to get my book after Saraswathi pooja which had already started on the day of Durgashtami and lasts through MahaNavami.Those two days were the most expected days of school life which simply means off to studies by all means.Always the mathematics books were sent for Pooja.Since we used to say " we should not touch the book" , even touching a piece of paper or reading a flash news from TV seemed sin full. During the 9 days of Navarathri most of my friends used to avoid non vegetarian food but in my case I always stay unaware of Navarathri untill it is Saraswathi Pooja. 'AayudhaPooja ' ( Pooja of implements ) too will take place during these days which means even news paper presses would be on holiday.

Back from temple I opened the book and read a line from it.Wrote down the Malayalam alphabet in a paper stopping at every letter and wondering how it is a part of my life .I listened to my kid cousin pronouncing every letter trying hard to keep it sound clear even though two of her front row teeth are missing. Its the fresh restart of learning .

Colors in darkness.

It was our first week in the training academy .One morning we were intimated that our Business Etiquette lessons 'd start today and the trainer will be in class within 10 minutes.It followed a small introduction of him.Since I had woke up very early ( might not be very early in many other's terms) and the god of sleep was really fond of me ,I couldn't get the whole introduction but some tags like 'IIT Bombay', 'author of a book on...' etc was absorbed by the drooping head.As we waited for him to arrive , a man in formals with a cooling glass on his face entered the class briskly.He positioned himself in front of the training hall.He appeared ridiculous with his cooling glasses in a room which was nearly freezing with a high A/C.But instantly we noticed that he have a folded white stick in his hand.He felt his laptop keys with his hand and an accessibility tool was reading him the screen.
"The trainer is blind!!!", some one exclaimed.We couldn't digest the idea of a man who is visually challenged trains others on corporate grooming which is all about looks and appearance. He introduced himself as Manuj Kumar Tamuli and there started the wonderful days of our training. The blind man gave endless presentations everyday.Manuj uses his laptop and projector with such skills that will excel any normal person.He remember each and every words and diagrams of the slides.Just give him the slide number and he starts his magic.
We had discussions on everything under the sky .I always wonders if he know what it looks like when he talks about colors , art ,TV programs and nature.He can reach his chamber at the end of the corridor or the training rooms that line one side of the corridor or the restroom and cafeteria without any body's help.The academy's website quotes his life as an inspirational thought for the trainees.
He could identify all his acquaintances' voice and he aligns himself to the direction of a conversation so that he appears absolutely normal.His ability to entertain and keep a crowd lively was amazing.One who can't see anything teaches those who can see about body languages and gestures!!!
We always used to think that at the end of the training they will reveal that he could see and he was pretending so to keep a close watch on the trainees, a filmy twist.It didn't happen.His perception of the surrounding was so perfect that we thought he have lost his sight very recently but it was wrong.He was born blind.
Manuj's life is a challenge to the creator who didn't impart the gift of vision in it and is an answer to people who blame their deficiencies.
Salutes Manuj for his attitude towards life.

Whats missing ? , Season II

'Onam is the national festival of Kerala '.The first sentence I used to write in essays on Onam through out my primary school exams.It was a sure as well as welcomed question.The exams 'd get over a few days before
Onam and the mirth starts.Even the word 'Onam' always accompanies a happy smile.Ten days of making Pookkalam* .Starting with a single color of flower on the first day ,two colors on day two and so on till the tenth day.New dresses and sadya* on 'Thiruvonam*' add the glamor.


Through the years my Onam celebrations have been changing its flavours.When I was a kid I strictly observed making Pookkalam ,collecting flowers from here and there.As time changed I gave a reverse inheritance of my rights to make Pookkalam back to Amma and she did it Only on Thiruvonam.From collecting flowers , my happiness diverted to celebrate Onam at a friend's place , extend a helping hand in Kitchen on the day of Thiruvonam and now to work in office on the day of Onam( I can't call it my happiness and even I hate calling it my fate).
As years go on , I feel like I had better celebrations in previous years. During the last Onam season I had an insight that this year , just like any other past year , will be remembered as a good old time in future.So I tried to enjoy the festival consciously. It was literally a free time.A few weeks after I graduated from college and a few weeks before I joined my present job.
This time I 'm waiting to see how my Onam will be registered in tomorrow's album.I am waiting for an Onam which I 'll long to celebrate for the sake of my happiness and not for it to be remembered. Every one says , as you grow up the enthusiasm vanishes.If it is true then I'm waiting for a day when I become a kid again.I know some thing is missing now.

My last Onam is here Whats missing?

Wish you a happy Onam

Pookkalam - patterns made by flowers
Sadya - the feast
Thiruvonam - the 10th day of Onam celebrations

Badshah Bhai

There were two incidents which make me talk about music.The happiest is that my friend Neethu sang for an album named 'Interval' which is expected to release soon.And the other is ,I talked to a college mate who gave up his engineering career and learning music production now.Their passion for music made me travel pretty back down in my memory lane .
My school had a group of students who sing for all the programs . Me and my friends used to frequent their practice sessions.We gave them chance to bask in the glory of their talent with our admiring eyes.The teacher who used to train them in school knew how badly I wanted to sing.Once he gave a chance for me to sing with his group in a training session and every one who was present there could identify my voice running far beyond the others.The teacher asked me to return to the audience side after a few minutes .He did not bothered to gave me ,not even to my friends, another chance...that much was the impact.A friend consoled me," You can't sing without proper training in classical music .Once we get trained for at least six months we can sing better than these people".We knew all those students were trained in karnatic music from their childhood.
That night I told my parents I wish to learn music.My father asked me " Do you feel you sing good?"."Acha , how can I come to a conclusion without getting proper training .First lemme get trained ". There weren't any music teachers around , so I demanded them to take me to a music school which is pretty far away from home.Being a primary school student I was not used to travel alone , so my parents could easily discard that institute.I came to know about a full time music school which have hostel facility.I was ready to give up my regular school classes and I dreamed of a future devoid of mathematics teachers but blissful music .My mom raised her head from the book she was reading " Bhavya, do you know , In my childhood I wanted to learn drawing .But circumstances didn't allowed me to and I don't regret for it now.Very less people make a living out of art". "I 'll be one of that very less people".
The news of a music school opening near to our place didn't escape my notice.Classes are handled by a famous artist retired from All India Radio.I found myself enrolled in the class on the next Mahanavami.My class mates were in the age range of 5 - 40 .Needless to say , except the few of 5 and 6 year old , most of them already had basic training earlier.And 4 of them were doing degree courses in music and came to the class just to get the Guru's blessings.But the teacher insisted of starting from scratch.Forgot to mention, that was a part time class .(I couldn't drive Mathematics teachers away from my life).
Every day the class had wonders in store for me.I understood how 'swaras' are laid in the back bone of a song and how 'tal' framed the songs.The teacher was an expert ,not even in singing but teaching too.I remember how he moved his hands in air to show the ascending and descending swaras.Still I wonder how perfect he puts each swara in the exact position , how his voice dissolves in the shruthi of 'Thamburu'.
As strongly as I admired the music lessons , I hated that much to sing.The only reason behind that was my voice not being obedient to me.My voice never cared for 'shruthi'.Except mine and two other boys ( they were brothers) ,every body else's voice converged as one and flowed in the tune.I tried to hide my voice in others.But the Guru declared " he can count the number of voices that comes out.Don't try to hide your voice ".Even if he didn't look at me ,I knew I was the target.When it came to individual practice even lip synchronization couldn't save me.There were theory classes on the second Sunday of every month.He used to explain how different Raga's came into existence and talked about the history of music.It was in such classes he used to talk about the similarity between different genres of music. I liked such classes only.
Then came the next Mahanavami and every one was supposed to sing for the pooja. I set my mind up and Guru grouped me with two other best singers .(He was sure I'll do lip synchronization only). To make things even worse , he invited the student's parents and some how one of my neighbour came to know about it.That uncle himself assumed the duty of publicising it.In the evening of that program I could find all my well wishers lined up the first raw .I don't know what happened , nobody criticised after the program.
After some days the two brothers I mentioned earlier, those who too were as pathetic as I was, left the class.Then the teacher said ," There are people who are not gifted in music , they might have some other talents.Even if such people try hard to learn music , they won't succeed .They may come inside the rules of music.But music is not some thing about rules .So if you are not gifted its better to leave and go in search of your piece of cake.I was talking about those two boys...".That words of wisdom opened my eyes.I thought of giving up music and I did after a few weeks.
From that day I haven't ever tried humming a tone even in bathroom.I realized my role is to enjoy music as a listener.I don't regret that I can't sing.I don't regret that I joined that music class.That incident gave me valuable insights.
Later in college hostel a senior girl asked me to sing a song as part of the so called 'ragging' ( I guess , it was me who got ragged least in our batch .This girl was the weakest of the seniors who never got a prey).I warned her as humbly as I could " I sing really bad, nobody ever allows me to sing" ,"Ohh...is it so? then I'm giving you a chance" .I started with "har ghadi badal rahi...." she couldn't control her laughter and told me "I didn't expect when you said...".
My cousin used to say , he can run a remix company with the help of me.If I sing , nobody can find out it was a popular song.A friend used to say , I sing like the priest in their church.In short I never open my mouth in singing.
I met Badshah Bhai very recently.I have a feeling of coherence when I listen to his songs.Eey...I'm talking about the new character in 9Xm family , Badshah Bhai.I got a boost up and I may sing one day...he he...just kidding.

Yeah, I'm confused.

I have seen such sacks carrying rice and wheat with a warning "Do not use hooks".But this time its full of red roses.A sack full of red roses and I was asked to pluck the petals and place in trays.I filled trays after trays with rose petals.It reminded me of beauty soap ads and film songs.The white floor of the hall have been covered with the rose trays with me sitting in the middle.Some guests who arrived early joined me in the task. I was invited to attend a pooja .Down in my memory lane there was a Ganapathy Homam on the morning of our house warming and I was drooping down by the time it ended.The only pooja I attended as far.

Spending a sunday all alone watching TV or sleeping through out the day didn't appeal me much , so I happily accepted the invitation to pooja. I got a reminder at the previous night itself "Be on time , early in the morning".Next morning, a knock on the door woke me up at 10' o clock (Don't take it your way ,it was a second sleep , after the break fast ) to see the 7 year old live reminder with her one month old Cocker Spanial ."Akka , ennum kulikkaliya? late aydchu" and she asked me to wear some thing grand.

Within fifteen minutes from then I was welcomed by the host family "vanka ,vanka".All wrapped in fine Silk cloths ,wearing gold in many forms of ornaments all over their body.I had ignored the kid's words about dress code and there was no signs of Pooja .I got enough time to go back to my place and at the end of my search I found out my friend's ear ring abandoned in a dark corner of a shelf.I some how wore it and hurried back. Since I was the first guest and every one else in the home had enough in their 'to do' list , I was assigned to attend roses.Hostess explained me how she ran out of time and couldn't invite all friends but a handful only.She stopped at me whenever she passed by to explain how they arranged pooja's every year.Her 15 year old girl , was trying to lock the puppy inside her bedroom.Even at the slightest of her movements her bangles giggled and silk cloths murmured secrets.

Once all the decorations were done with Marigold garlands , it was time to prepare the 'thank you kits'.A carry bag , on which it was printed 'Thank you for your presence ' and the host family's name ,filled with sandal ,turmeric ,kumkum ,camphor and some thing I couldn't identify and small golden coloured metal cases to hold each of them.

The priest arrived on time and the family welcomed him .He turned out to be a Keralite who couldn't understand Tamil . He had some books from which he recited something and his actions where all strange and alien to me.There seemed to be a competition among the people to join the bhajan in the top most of their voice.I didn't understand the meaning of anything.Still I too followed everything and even a namaskaram to the priest.I was really praying at that moment ("god,let me keep my balance while doing the namaskaram.Otherwise give me strength to bear a fall in front of this much people") I can't really make out why they all did a 'sashtanga namaskaram'( prostrate ) at the Brahmin's feet. All my fancies about the decorations and flowers had ran away.I felt I was totally unfit to that place. The family presented the priest a tray full of fruits ,flowers , folded five hundred rupees currency bundle and dhothi's with golden brocaded being the attraction .The pooja was followed by a feast .Delicious food served with warm hospitality. Thank you kits were handed over.

Back at my place I wonderd if the God has pleased over all those show offs. Does God really exists? If you had such a doubt , then why did you go to the Pooja.To please the host.Then why do you go to temple some times? To pray , of course. Then why do you take part in atheist debates.I doubt the existence of god.You pray to god and you doubt the existence ...!!! See, we can't ignore science ,right? .Then what is your stand? .I'm ...I'm confused.I'm an agnostist.Oooh...so you can go to temple and pray when you really need favours and you can pretend to be an atheist at other times.Such a coward you are!!!Yeah...thats right.

Tea Break

I smiled at my hostess.She stopped on her way to kitchen and said ,"No.make it clear.What do you like to have .Tea or coffee ?". I decided to go for a Coffee and I said "MMnnn....Tea".This is where I become so helpless , my mind says one and my tounge utters another.She brought a cup of steaming tea and a couple of cookies in a plate.I sipped the thick sweetened liquid and tried hard not to smell the milk in that.At the rim of the cup, tea converged with its brown colour.I kept on smiling so that my dislike for the milk tea wouldn't be expressed.I swallowed each sip as I framed my answers to her queries in Tamil.I remembered my mom's words." Today onwards make your tea yourself".She 'd be taking back the cup of tea I rejected for it was stirred by a spoon that formerly served to stir my mom's milk tea.

As a kid I used to be a fan of the children's science magazine "Eureka" in Malayalam.It was an article in Eureka that made me aware of the presence of Caffeine in coffee and Thein in tea.I gave up coffee and tea completely afraid of a possible cancer.My mom congratulated me for being so deterministic ( She din't had any clue how she was going to be embarrassed because of my determination).

I was in 3rd std then.Once a couple of our relatives payed us a visit.After the usual chit chats , my mom served them tea. I warned my mom "Don't give them tea.They will die of cancer". She ignored me with a smile.No time to waste.I ran to the visitors and told them not to drink the tea ( Yeah...some directors are like this ...they 'll brutually copy things even from a kid's biography...I'm not talking about Fasil or Manichithrarhazhu...generally..).The visitors, afraid of a possible interchange of salt and sugar left the cup .My mom came and told them 'the naughty kid was kidding'.I couldn't understand why my mom want to put those lovely people's life at stake.I cried in front of them and explained about Caffeine and showed them Eureka for proof.They all laughed at me and continued with the tea.When the visitors left our home , mom advised me not to panic on others health.She said "just mind yours".

A couple of days latter we were visiting my dad's friends place.When they served tea , I became conscious of my health(Only my health).I declared " I don't take Tea"."Coffee?" , I said "No" as if she had asked me to be a suicide bomber.I ended up having grape juice (Now I can imagine my parents embarrassed faces).My dad waited till we got outta that house.I got enough firing.Mom tried to make me understand the difficulties of hosts.This time she advised me to ignore the tea if I don't want and not to ask for alternatives.

From then I used to leave the glasses untouched and latter when I myself was aware of the obligation to the host , pretended to take a sip and left it as such.Some one advised me not to waste tea ,once.

With time I started liking black coffee , then black tea.But I genuinely hated the smell of milk.Except at a friend's home I ne'er got my perfect tea.So Its me who make my favourite tea at home.If it is mom , it will go through a round of rejections as applications in Govt.offices. Lately I found out making best black tea in coffee machines(he he...machine serve hot water only).Some times I feel like our kitchen has become a small Brazil ,exporting that much of coffee.Now a days a cup of hot black tea is the perfect decor for my cubicle in office.But I cherish those times sipping from a cup of steaming black tea watching the rain , that too at home.

A sunday, well spent.

I asked the conductor twice and he assured the bus goes through Triplicane.I took the back seat with a girl who looked at me as if I was in the news for stealing some question papers.

I was on the way to attend an exam and the center of exam was at the other end of the city.Neethu, the culprit ,who forced me to attend the exam had got a nearby center and another friend to accompany her.Once again I felt my bag to make sure the pencil,pen,sharpener and eraser I bought few minutes ago are in place.I held the Rs.5 ticket in my hand and kept glancing at the conductors face every now and then.When most of the boards showed off 'triplicane' on them I started looking for the school name.Then the girl who was sitting next to me asked, "where do you want to go?".I told her the street name and school name.She nodded in helplessness.Bus drove past the Marina beach and entered a busy lane.At last the conductor turned his head and said Triplicane.I wondered that I travelled this long with Rs.5.It was easy to spot the old building of the school and find out my seat in the last row.

My previous experiences made me go through the instructions once again.Yes, I have a ball point pen and HB pencil , I relaxed.(Once during the CUSAT entrance exam I had darkened the bubbles in OMR sheets with a pen and when I realised it was to be done by a pencil, I tried my best to keep my lips curved in a smile.The invigilator exclaimed ," This careless, how are you going to be an engineer!!!").I kept the pencil and pen on the desk .A glance and I ,with a whirl in my stomach ,realised its not an HB pencil.I checked the pen, it was clearly written as Gel on it.I felt .....( I don't know a word to describe what I felt) .I turned my head .A girl whose face revealed her tensions was doing the final minute sharpening of her HB pencil.She said she don't have an additional pen.I asked the guy who sat in front of me.He threw a weired look and felt from his legs to feet and found a ball pen from one of the countless pockets of his cargoes.I decided to carry on with the non -HB ,extra dark pencil.I used the pencil in a very light manner so that it makes the effect of an HB pencil.I sat alone in my bench.Invigilator cross checked the hall tickets.I was not wearing spectacles in the photo.He stared for one more second and mapped the signature and confirmed my identity.

As the bells rang to open the question booklet seals , some one shouted an 'excuse me' from the door.A guy who definitely was a fan of Rajnikanth (his attire and shaving pattern...thats the only clue) came and sat beside me. Behind him entered a girl who was dressed as she was attending a party.All the candidates eyes including mine followed her even after she settled in her place.Invigilator asked the guy with a geometry box to leave his calculator away.He stood from his place and walked out , careful to avoid any wrinkles to his Peter England trousers.He came back and had a sip of water from the fruity bottle he was carrying.

After going through some pages of the booklet I was wondering , what are they going to do with all these circuit diagrams and mathematical equations. I was aware of the time distribution , so I started slowly . Once during the IIT JEE ( No,I din't over estimate me...another friend needed company ...thats why ...I got a result card after some months stating " Regret to inform you that you are not eligible...Your rank is One Lakh Twentyfive...") , I finished all the questions in half an hour and some how passed the three hours.The general knowledge section was the only relief.

None of the questions in the other sections made any sense to me.I could identify the zigzag figures as symbol for resistors, two parallel vertical lines as capacitors, a coil as inductor.But nothing more than that.

I glanced at Mr.Peter England.He adjusted his soda glasses and was busy doing some thing in the space for rough work.He had kept his geometry box open and the fruity bottle close to him.There were two fans in the room.A dusty Usha and another old Crompton Greeves.They worked hard to keep the Chennai heat away.

I began to brain storm on the terms ....where did I hear all these? Transducer, Self induction,Gap,dielectrics,impedance,characteristic plots,planes,omegas,waves, angles,diodes...........When diodes appeared in the paper , I thought there was some diode starting with Z.Ohh..yeah next question is about Zenor diode.Mnn...not that a week memory( there are some occasions, I get impressed by myself).Then came the coefficients with all the scientists names as prefix. I replaced all those names with Bhavya in my mind.Bhavya coefficient of dielectric, Bhavya constant, Bhavya wave length, Bhavya's Theorem,Bhavya temperature of boiling......not a rhyming set of words.Good , that there is no constants or coeff named after me.

Miss.Party had already closed her questionnaire.She tried to adjust her loose hair locks and started admiring her own nail polish.I looked at my nails and wondered , what colour will look good on them! Mr.Rajnikanth rested his head on the desk.The orange colour of the old building reflected on his face( Once one of my cousin had told me , if you take photos facing a bright orange wall ,the pics will be warm).

When it was past half the time , a press photographer entered the room .The invigilator adjusted his shirt collar and wiped his face with a kerchief.Photographer suggested some posses and the invigilator was so keen in following his instructions.He clicked some ten snaps. In all the photos invigilator stood exactly in front of me and my hope of appearing in a Tamil news paper faded then itself.

I started a game of rolling pen and pencil on the desk.The one which reaches the farthest on the desk wins.Always pencil won, pen was not a perfect figure to roll.Once the pencil fell off the desk and invigilator noticed and Miss.Tension smiled at me with a yawn.I gave up the game.

When it was half an hour left I had 5 questions to finish.I formulated another game.Do one question and take a break of 3 minutes.But I finished marking it in next two minutes.I dint even looked at the answers.Just darkened the circles in OMR sheet.When Invigilator started collecting the answer sheets , Mr.Peter England hasn't finished.His rough work space might had got over. I have to return the pen to Mr.Cargos.The pen had 'Infosys' embossed on it.I returned the pen with an unintonated 'thank you'.

Just after the exam I got Neethu's SMS saying she enjoyed the 3 hours.Travelling back was easy . Back at home while having my lunch ,I got a call from my friends ,"Hurry up,we are planning to go to Besant Nagar Beach".Some how I answered "Now? I can't join you." and within five minutes I was sleeping like a pig( I don't know what I look like when I sleep, may not be a pig , I hope).

Reading day

As I skimmed through the pages of Mathrubhumi daily one news came to my notice.Kerala Govt.observes June 19th as Vayana Dinam (Reading Day) and the week from 19th to 25th as Vayana Varam (Reading Week).This will be celebrated with different programs and competitions in schools and colleges.

I remember how we used to observe the day in our school days.There would be an assembly in the morning before the commencement of the class.The head mistress would announce ,"Its my pleasure to inform you all that today is 'the great reading day' ( I don't know why she used to decorate everything with a 'great' , 'happy','successful'....kinda adjectives.).Our 'uschool' too is taking part in this event(She pretended to be an epitome of discipline in conduct and academics , but she could ne'er ever pronounce the word school properly.She said 'uschool ' in every assembly and gave us a chance to exchange smiles which resembled some emoticons in my office communicator.Ooh !! yeah, you are right .I had many more issues with the head mistress.Used to criticise her for every this and that , as I was Miss.Perfect.).Then another teacher , probably a Malayalam teacher, will talk about the importance of reading habit and books for another half an hour.He 'd highlight the impacts of Television on children since TV is said to be the enemy of books.And by the end of this assembly ,ends our 'reading day'. School library was some thing we had to 'discover' ourselves.Really , that was the case.One of my friend happened to see some book shelves in the distant corner of the staff room and we kept asking about it and a teacher revealed us its the so called school library.And we started borrowing books from there.
In college there was a small shelf in which books of fiction stood embarrassed in the huge library which gave space to technical stuff only.

Most of the reading day programs start with a mourn on the death of reading habit among today's youth.Yes , TV, the Internet and such electronic medias are alternate means of entertainment.But it doesn't mean the community that reads give up their interest .Just a look at the best seller statistics shows still there are people who love reading ( And do count the pirated book lovers like me too)and they find time for that.I too have half read books waiting for my return to the book mark , but that doesn't mean I gave up reading.More over , The Internet opens windows to the wide world of letters and words. Blogosphere stands as the best example of that.

There will be people who adore the paths through which books (printed or e-books) leads them and luxuriate in the magic of words till the end of this world . Even though the scenario is like this , it is good to have a special day or week which reminds us about the existence of such a habit as part of us .Long live reading.

My Chi

"You are wrong ,do the other way",
"You should pronounce that word like this.........",
"This dress doesn't suit you",
"Oh..you don't know what is it!!!",
"Use your commonsense..."

If you think these abuses/criticism/correction come from my parents or a friend of mine , you are wrong. These all are the occasional knocks I get from my sister who is five years younger than me.Lets call her Chi.After going through my blog she noticed , I haven't ever made a mention about her anywhere. Since I'm afraid of a "So mean you are ..." ,I promised her "Eey ,I have some thing in mind.'ll pen it down soon" .So this is more of a 'post on request'.

It was in a hospital bed, I met Chi for the first time, laying beside my mom , after a few hours of her entrance to this world.Standing on a stool by the side of the bed and leaning over my mom I saw her sleeping silently.My grand mom introduced her to me and I found a lot of scope in that toy like thing.I fancied of carrying her instaed of a doll , in my mind.But more than the baby what caught my attention was a green mosquito net and a feeding bottle.I started playing with those things and left the baby.I can't recollect me shouting at my mom to throw that baby away and let me stay with her.But my grand mother kept on describing that scene every now and then when I grew up.But I I din't...........
When the baby was brought to home I badly wanted to carry her in my hands but no one allowed me to.I waited for one day when I grow up to a lady and hold her in my hands .But a cousin asked, "Do you think she 'll remain a baby once you become a lady ?".



Untill Chi was six she din't had any friends except me.Those were the days I got respected the most in my life.She watched whatever I do as heroism.She always wanted my company but school was a big obstacle.By the time I get ready to school Chi'd start asking me secretly "Baa...only today , I wont ask you anymore.Please don't go to school today ,let's play".I 'd agree her a hundred times to bunk school but dad ,mom......When I leave home she 'd start crying with all her might and most of the days I too wet my eyes and curse school.Once when I was in 3rd STD she asked me to take her to school .But how? My aunt made a master plan.I'll take her to school and by the time the class starts aunt will come and bring her back to home.Aunt was damn sure about she being afraid of the teacher and begging to take her back.But when teacher came to class , she said she 'll stay there with me other wise I too have to accompany her home.But my teacher was so sweet and permitted this 3yr old to sit in her class beside me.But when teacher told us to write some thing Chi told me it 'll be good if we draw a picture instead of following the teacher.I was in a dilemma.We were a team and I started writing and gave her a rough book to draw in.But she wanted to draw in my book itself.At last I had to give her space in the book margin.After hardly one hour a boy in the class did some thing mischievous and the teacher beat him with her cane stick , followed by a shower of scolding.By that time my sister buried her face in my lap and started crying "I want to go home".Teacher gave me leave and send my friend with me.At home she was fully contented, "I saved you before your turn came ,na?".

I was not permitted to stay over night at any of my relatives houses since she'd be left company less.Once she somehow agreed on me staying in a cousins house and the very next day early in the morning we woke up to see my dad with the crying Chi in hand.From then I couldn't leave her except for school till she was some 5 or 6 yrs old.

She attended hardly a ten days in nursery that too in my company.She used to hold my hand tight and ensured my presence.When she started attending school I used to take her till her friends house and they 'd go together from there.Till we reach that house she used to nag me like 'take me back home'.And I had handed over my exclusive possession of our dad to her when she was born.Instead of me dad told stories to her and made her sleep to comfort.

As time went on , she got many good friends and she explored a world beyond me.And she started taking her teachers words for value.Once when she was asked to bring Rs.10 to school she asked dad to give '10 roopa*' and he asked her back '10 urpika *?' .she demanded 'roopa' and not 'urpika'.He gave a 10 rupee note and assured her its '10 roopa'.On the way to school some one asked her why are you holding '10 urpika' and she came back home and asked dad whether it is '10 roopa' or '10 urpika'.
And to mention our fights ,it will take a whole series of posts.Will consider it that way.

Now that she is grown up and I don't ever felt insulted when she corrects me.And miss her calling me 'Baa...' when she is not around.As a wall paper she once created in photoshop says 'Baa & Chi rocks'

Phoolon ka tharon ka sabka kehna hai
Ek hazaron mein meri behna hai
Sari umar hame sang rehna hai

* Roopa & Urpika = Rupees

A voice from Chile ,that echos .....

Our college too had anti ragging means.We were under the watch full eyes of lectures all the time through out the first two or three months. Seniors kept themselves away at least in their presence .But this bunch of guys were successful in distributing a notice among the first year students at the entrance itself.I don't remember what that notice (union inauguration?) was all about.But it had a picture of a flag with a star and some words or letters( may be "Independence,democracy & socialism" ) and the back cover of that booklet had the name 'SFI MESCE Unit' printed on it.

The first page read like this :

And you'll ask: why doesn't his poetry

speak of dreams and leaves

and the great volcanoes of his native
land?

Come and see the blood in the streets.

Come and see

The blood in the streets.

Come and see the blood

In the streets!

That was the first time I met Pablo Neruda in my life.I felt those words have such a commanding power that you can't escape from the questions of your own conscience.From then Neruda was a power that was enough to pump adrenaline in to my blood.I'm thank full to that notice.

You can read Neruda here:

http://www.poemhunter.com/pablo-neruda/poems/

A fire alarm

A fire alarm was a plaything for me in my childhood.He ,he...not a joke.One of my neighbour had an emergency lantern with an emergency siren .She showed it to me the very next day her dad brought it from abroad.She dint believe when i said its the same sound a fire engine makes and every one give way when it comes.We turned it ON and peeped from inside her house to see if some one is coming running.Only her grand father who was sitting just a few feet away from us turned his head and smiled .I felt ashamed of being unable to prove my point.From that day onwards we used to play with that and the emergency alarm became the back ground music of our playtime.

But today when i was enjoying a coffee in my office space when the alarm rang and loud speakers announced over my head "due to some emergency all are requested to evacuate the building" , i was startled. After some seconds of confusion i could find myself running down stairs clutching my bag .Nobody was using the lift.I could hear others talking about 'bomb threat'.At that moment some pictures came into my mind.Today at our office entrance a group of people with 'Emergency Response Team' cap on their head were busy doing something.An ambulance which used to be at a corner was in the drive way.There may be a threat and they might have confirmed the presence of a bomb now only.What if it explodes now , before i come out of the building? I even pictured my funeral...and people who disperse after the mourning indulging in their daily routine.Ohh...even if i disappear from this earth nothing is gonna change , not even to my close relatives.They will live again with all the fortunes of the life.They may drop some tears in my memory once in a year...after some years ....they won't even think of me. An urge (out of sheer jealousy) came into my mind .I want to live.I started skipping two or three steps and the people with me were not in a hurry.I pitied them.Why are they not serious in this moment when there existence is being questioned?

As i reached the ground floor i could see water pumping in the height of the building.It was not the right time to wonder how many hp is that pump.Some one from the ERT was announcing through a megaphone to get into a safe assembly area. Then he said you should be faster in getting here when there is an emergency. I realised it was a fire drill . A fire drill without any prior information or i missed it. Is that why others were relaxed even while running? I felt like I'm cheated.But i did clap for the filmy entrance of ambulance and all those exercises. There was a funny SMS circulating about fire drills. Once all employees got out of the building they will make another announcement."As part of cost cutting we are laying off a lion portion of our employees.Only whose name will be called out need to enter the office.We regret.........". Any such initiatives.... No , no.......I don't know how my imagination weave out such weird things in the exact moment.Have to tame my mind ...........

Rain........................

It rained in Chennai last Friday , for the first time after my arrival. Thunder being the first outside noise to penetrate the walls of office , i realised its gonna rain . I was happy like a peacock.I don't know why rain makes me cheerful.Keeping an umbrella was the last thing to expect.I walked in the rain to my cab.I could see a biker sliding from the tiled path and felling off his bike. Then another ....But i felt it only as an action sequence in the newly released rain . I opened the window and drenched in rain till the driver became concerned about the seat cover. The roads were submerged in water. Power went off. The city seemed to be a scene from some horror movie when it lightened.

By the time i reached my room , rain was in its full swing. sparks came out of the electric sockets.I some how unplugged my friend's laptop. Darkness wrapped me around like a cloak of fear after every crack of lightening. I looked around to see the shadows of all the ghosts and demons i have ever heard of.Rain poured over my loneliness. I thought of the rain at home. Rain drops hitting green leaves , warning to sit on a wooden chair , cuddling sister , a hot black tea......even paper boats from a long back archive.I badly wanted to be at home at that moment. Next moment my phone blinked 'home calling' , I picked it up and told my father "I will be there next week".

Mahabalipuram

Every one had got bored of the long weekends , with literally nothing in hand to do. "Why can't we go to Mahabalipuram on this Saturday?" , whoever asked the question has got enough praise for the 'brilliant idea' .Waking up early morning was not that difficult even though it was out of habit. Some one advised us to wait for bus under a tree outside the Thiruvanmiyur bus terminal.Then came a Volvo with "Mamallapuram " flashing on its board. We boarded in it and exclaimed at each others face "will this go to Mahabalipuram?" "where's Mamallapuram?".Mahabalipuram is in Kancheepuram district of Tamil Nadu.

We , a bunch of 'New to Chennai' people , started looking outside the bus ( Now when ever i look from a moving vehicle an ophthalmologist's words keep ringing in my ears " changing focus , eye muscles , eye exercises , spectacles....."God created eye specialists to spoil my travels!!! But i took revenge on them by keeping my eyes open for the next one hour) .When bus took a turn from the high way(?) we noticed a sign board with "KOVALAM " written on it.We guessed this may be the high way that connect Chennai to Kanyakumari and Kovalam.But within minutes we realised its the name of that beach side itself. A long array of beach side resorts,green gardens and amusement parks lined both sides of road for a long distance. We were totally surprised to see a beautiful face of Chennai. In one turn we saw a sign board with 28km to Pondichery written on it.The sea shores were beautiful and amazingly long.We planned to get down in a boating centre named Muthukadu in our trip back but we couldn't.

We reached there by 10.30.A few minutes walk from the bus stand and you are there in Mamallapuram ( It was named after a king 'Mamalla') fancies of 7th and 8th century.After taking a look at rock cuts and taking photographs in front of the most appealing ones some one asked "what do all these depicts?".No one had any answers."Can we Google it now?" .Then only we realised the blankness. Then came a bunch of foreigners and a guide who was explaining in a very loud voice.We eavesdropped to that narration and could make out some thing about the whole place.But i swear the guide was misguiding them through Indian myths and epics. The only thing we can depend there was the rusty boards of Archaeological survey of India which gave one line descriptions.

Cave Carvings

Built largely during the time of Narasimhavarman of Pallava dynasty, Mamallapuram have breath takingly beautiful mandapas and shrines.Many of them are monolithic too.Most of the villagers seems to be sculpturers.I was wondering who will buy that much huge Budha and deities in large number. We visited the cave temples , light house and a rock named Krishna's butter ball.That stone was looking exactly like a ball of butter from one side.It was balanced on a huge rock and another side of it was flat.We had a considerably good lunch in a nearby 'sit out turned to be a restaurant' house.

Krishna's butter ball

After lunch it was Pancha Rathas (five chariots) and Sea shore temple that entertained our eyes.Rathas were monolithic and carved in pink granite.The five rathas are named after the five Pandavas (nakula and sahadeva together) and Draupadi.There were huge elephant and lion sculpture among the rathas.

The Rathas

Sea shore temple over looks Bay of Bengal.It has three shrines ,of which two are dedicated to Shiva and one to Vishnu.Inside the temple it was very cool and we sat there for a very long time to escape from the scorching heat .The sea shore temple premise is converted to a garden and entrance is restricted by tickets.We noticed a group of people entering one by one with a single ticket.The one who enters gives the ticket to his friend who is standing outside through the gate.But they were unaware of the inner counter where they tear the ticket and give you a half of it.

Sea Shore temple

We left the place at 4.30 . Back at home we Googled about Mahabalipuram and realised it was one of the UNESCO Heritage Sites.