Yeah, I'm confused.

I have seen such sacks carrying rice and wheat with a warning "Do not use hooks".But this time its full of red roses.A sack full of red roses and I was asked to pluck the petals and place in trays.I filled trays after trays with rose petals.It reminded me of beauty soap ads and film songs.The white floor of the hall have been covered with the rose trays with me sitting in the middle.Some guests who arrived early joined me in the task. I was invited to attend a pooja .Down in my memory lane there was a Ganapathy Homam on the morning of our house warming and I was drooping down by the time it ended.The only pooja I attended as far.

Spending a sunday all alone watching TV or sleeping through out the day didn't appeal me much , so I happily accepted the invitation to pooja. I got a reminder at the previous night itself "Be on time , early in the morning".Next morning, a knock on the door woke me up at 10' o clock (Don't take it your way ,it was a second sleep , after the break fast ) to see the 7 year old live reminder with her one month old Cocker Spanial ."Akka , ennum kulikkaliya? late aydchu" and she asked me to wear some thing grand.

Within fifteen minutes from then I was welcomed by the host family "vanka ,vanka".All wrapped in fine Silk cloths ,wearing gold in many forms of ornaments all over their body.I had ignored the kid's words about dress code and there was no signs of Pooja .I got enough time to go back to my place and at the end of my search I found out my friend's ear ring abandoned in a dark corner of a shelf.I some how wore it and hurried back. Since I was the first guest and every one else in the home had enough in their 'to do' list , I was assigned to attend roses.Hostess explained me how she ran out of time and couldn't invite all friends but a handful only.She stopped at me whenever she passed by to explain how they arranged pooja's every year.Her 15 year old girl , was trying to lock the puppy inside her bedroom.Even at the slightest of her movements her bangles giggled and silk cloths murmured secrets.

Once all the decorations were done with Marigold garlands , it was time to prepare the 'thank you kits'.A carry bag , on which it was printed 'Thank you for your presence ' and the host family's name ,filled with sandal ,turmeric ,kumkum ,camphor and some thing I couldn't identify and small golden coloured metal cases to hold each of them.

The priest arrived on time and the family welcomed him .He turned out to be a Keralite who couldn't understand Tamil . He had some books from which he recited something and his actions where all strange and alien to me.There seemed to be a competition among the people to join the bhajan in the top most of their voice.I didn't understand the meaning of anything.Still I too followed everything and even a namaskaram to the priest.I was really praying at that moment ("god,let me keep my balance while doing the namaskaram.Otherwise give me strength to bear a fall in front of this much people") I can't really make out why they all did a 'sashtanga namaskaram'( prostrate ) at the Brahmin's feet. All my fancies about the decorations and flowers had ran away.I felt I was totally unfit to that place. The family presented the priest a tray full of fruits ,flowers , folded five hundred rupees currency bundle and dhothi's with golden brocaded being the attraction .The pooja was followed by a feast .Delicious food served with warm hospitality. Thank you kits were handed over.

Back at my place I wonderd if the God has pleased over all those show offs. Does God really exists? If you had such a doubt , then why did you go to the Pooja.To please the host.Then why do you go to temple some times? To pray , of course. Then why do you take part in atheist debates.I doubt the existence of god.You pray to god and you doubt the existence ...!!! See, we can't ignore science ,right? .Then what is your stand? .I'm ...I'm confused.I'm an agnostist.Oooh...so you can go to temple and pray when you really need favours and you can pretend to be an atheist at other times.Such a coward you are!!!Yeah...thats right.

Tea Break

I smiled at my hostess.She stopped on her way to kitchen and said ,"No.make it clear.What do you like to have .Tea or coffee ?". I decided to go for a Coffee and I said "MMnnn....Tea".This is where I become so helpless , my mind says one and my tounge utters another.She brought a cup of steaming tea and a couple of cookies in a plate.I sipped the thick sweetened liquid and tried hard not to smell the milk in that.At the rim of the cup, tea converged with its brown colour.I kept on smiling so that my dislike for the milk tea wouldn't be expressed.I swallowed each sip as I framed my answers to her queries in Tamil.I remembered my mom's words." Today onwards make your tea yourself".She 'd be taking back the cup of tea I rejected for it was stirred by a spoon that formerly served to stir my mom's milk tea.

As a kid I used to be a fan of the children's science magazine "Eureka" in Malayalam.It was an article in Eureka that made me aware of the presence of Caffeine in coffee and Thein in tea.I gave up coffee and tea completely afraid of a possible cancer.My mom congratulated me for being so deterministic ( She din't had any clue how she was going to be embarrassed because of my determination).

I was in 3rd std then.Once a couple of our relatives payed us a visit.After the usual chit chats , my mom served them tea. I warned my mom "Don't give them tea.They will die of cancer". She ignored me with a smile.No time to waste.I ran to the visitors and told them not to drink the tea ( Yeah...some directors are like this ...they 'll brutually copy things even from a kid's biography...I'm not talking about Fasil or Manichithrarhazhu...generally..).The visitors, afraid of a possible interchange of salt and sugar left the cup .My mom came and told them 'the naughty kid was kidding'.I couldn't understand why my mom want to put those lovely people's life at stake.I cried in front of them and explained about Caffeine and showed them Eureka for proof.They all laughed at me and continued with the tea.When the visitors left our home , mom advised me not to panic on others health.She said "just mind yours".

A couple of days latter we were visiting my dad's friends place.When they served tea , I became conscious of my health(Only my health).I declared " I don't take Tea"."Coffee?" , I said "No" as if she had asked me to be a suicide bomber.I ended up having grape juice (Now I can imagine my parents embarrassed faces).My dad waited till we got outta that house.I got enough firing.Mom tried to make me understand the difficulties of hosts.This time she advised me to ignore the tea if I don't want and not to ask for alternatives.

From then I used to leave the glasses untouched and latter when I myself was aware of the obligation to the host , pretended to take a sip and left it as such.Some one advised me not to waste tea ,once.

With time I started liking black coffee , then black tea.But I genuinely hated the smell of milk.Except at a friend's home I ne'er got my perfect tea.So Its me who make my favourite tea at home.If it is mom , it will go through a round of rejections as applications in Govt.offices. Lately I found out making best black tea in coffee machines(he he...machine serve hot water only).Some times I feel like our kitchen has become a small Brazil ,exporting that much of coffee.Now a days a cup of hot black tea is the perfect decor for my cubicle in office.But I cherish those times sipping from a cup of steaming black tea watching the rain , that too at home.