Whats missing?

Its almost over by now.The one Onam I have been waiting for so eagerly.This time there was not anything like getting rid of stupid exams, holidays............Still I had a woe that I will celebrate each and every moment of this season.I wanted to feel the same way as it was in my childhood.And the preparations started right from the day of Atham*.I 'discovered' some unhealthy Thumbas* in the distance I can cover in case I wake up late(this came handy from the 4th day).Selected a smooth pebble as Thrikkakkarappan*(I gave a big thought before this.Don't know whats behind this custom. I don't know if it falls to a superstition or a custom.Wanna avoid it ? Na.....just be the same way I did as a kid...thats it.Wow.....following my own footsteps!!!!!).Then came the question of location.No way, I am not gonna work over a 'Thara'*(some deviations are allowed).Let it be in the sit out.


Everything went well till the 5Th day.Famine of different colours of flowers came to play.I remedied by accepting leaves in place.Then a dentist turned the whole routine upside down.Some sedative pills dint allow me to rise early(Actually it was me who dint took care of my teeth n brought the matter worse that i couldn't avoid approaching the dentist).Anyway I could have relaxed having a caring father who brought me flowers from the market.But being myself so intelligent lead me to blunders.I kept the whole mass of flowers in freezer so that it stay chilled .My heart sank the next morning when i opened the freezer in hope of fresh, chilled flowers.Its was a discoloured ,stinking heap ......:( I lost my heart. From the next day onwards it was just doing a duty i have committed to.Still i remembered how precious this time is and i have to enjoy it to the last bit.Some how i did till today.


But I know the whole enthusiasm is missing.So recreating the kiddy mindset is almost impossible.It was a time when the heart pleased on very simple things and I found myself energetic doing pleasing things.Now what is left is the longing for being enthusiastic on such things that entertained me once(I don't know if it is necessary.do we have to change our interests as time passes?).And yes , now a days I am an expert in the art of making myself happy.............

Thrikkakkarappan* -a symbolic representation in mud of thrimoorthis....but we use a pebble
Atham * - first day of festivities in the ten-day-long Onam
Thumba* - a white flower
Thara *- a earthen platform on which flower patterns are laid