Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Its time to wake up.

Amina tried to hide her tears but her voice came out wet .Everyone in the house knew she was crying.But they can't allow her to stay in the house for some more days .Her aunts have been calling home from the morning gathering bits of information from their network of siblings.They all had the same question to ask ,"What happened? Ami had to leave yesterday ,right? ". These days they know there is something wrong , so answering such questions with a "Nothing , Don't feel like sending my daughter back .After all this is her house." does not help. They should send her back to her in-laws at any cost to keep the nosy relatives away.

Amina thought of the days at her in-laws place.When they realized that the bride's family has failed to present the promised dowry they sent her back home.But she was well aware of the debts her father already had and she kept quiet .She praised her in-laws care for her and returned back after a week promising her mother -in-law that the remaining amount will be sent soon.She didn't know how but she lied so confidently.Next time her in-laws dint bother to send the message with the girl , they went their own and informed their stand.It was a few thousands but her family couldn't even give a five hundred rupee in that situation.

She packed things in a black bag wiping tears with her sleeves.She put the thin golden bangle that barely has a circular shape into a small jewel box.Ami's step mother had removed it from her hands and given to her in the morning .She said,"this is the last thing remaining with me .I don't need a bangle over your life". Amina hugged her tightly and thought' she is not my mother'.The one whom her father married one week after her mother's death.She still remember the bargains that happened during her father's second marriage."I have spent a lot on my first wife's treatment , my only expectation is the dowry they offer .I need such proposals only" her father was shouting at the marriage broker. He was successful in arranging such a wedding.The only ceremony being the promise between her father and his father-in-law in the traditional way.But her father was keen in making sure that the dowry is intact as currency notes and golden ornaments ."This is more than the present day market rate. Remember you got this only because she is a divorcee ", her father gave a dry smile at someone's comment.
The girl who was just five years elder than Amina became her step mom .She and her younger sister didn't even look at her face for a month.But being rude to the children or such things that step mom's from TV soaps do were not in her power.Soon she became close to the girls ,she could never replace their mother but the least she became a friend.She had to watch all the fortunes she brought with her draining out of her husband's hand.

........... this events continued till they sold their house and payed the whole dowry.

Do you think this story of two women sucks? or this is such an unplanned one? .It is because reality sucks in many cases and life is totally unplanned.This is a true story I have witnessed.
Amina had given up her graduation since the groom's family wanted her to be in their kitchen.This happened in the state of Kerala which boast of cent percent literacy and awareness and I bet this is not a rare case at least in certain communities and regions. In spite of having enough laws to prevent such things this is not receding.How can people name selling their daughters paying off money 'a prestige issue'? .Or what are the other drives , that I'm unable to understand, to pay off such huge amounts as dowry ? Does anybody think a girl can be happy with someone who bargained with her family to accept her as his partner?
This post is my entry to IndusLadies International Women's Day Blog Contest.Thank you Pinash

Tagging my friends

(Friends I know its too late to tag but you are some women I wish to hear from).
for tagging me.


Randeep said...

Charity begins at home. Like that all good things begins from our own home. So if you want to see something done, start it from you. Don't ask, demand or even expect any dowry for your sons[i mean in future]. Can you? Or can you take a decision that you will only marry someone who will accept you without anything else.

With all supports

PNA said...

In the name of dowry, the woman undergo lot of torture even the parents! As if settling their daughter is just their piece of work and nothing to be done from the groom's side.... When such attrocious demands remain, how will female infanticide and abortions be stopped in a coutnry like ours:( Sad... We need to take a decision against Dowry in our lives. I did.

Indrani said...

Touching story and in spite of high literacy the story keeps repeating itself.

Bhavya.B said...

@ Randeep

For sure.


Good that you showed other a good model.

@ Indrani

Thank you .

Sonu said...

Hey sis,I didnt undrstood the value of this post till today,But when u told the reason behind it and the origin of the post...,nw i can connect to it...whatever you think abt this post,i'l say its a good one..
Keep writing..