Once again

This is not like something kept in the dark corner of a shelf and forgot with time.Its rather like a favorite new dress kept for a special occasion.You don't consider any occasion special enough to wear that and wait for that day to come.You take that dress out of the wardrobe everyday and try it on in front of the mirror , adjust your hair locks so that it hides the small scar in the lower cheek and admire yourself for hours on end.One day when you realize every day is special if you look at it that way , you are definitely gonna wear that lovely purple outfit of yours to market the very next day.I'm talking about this blog.
One day suddenly I felt my ideas to a coming post may sound silly to others(as if I got my wisdom updated overnight).I gave up that and waited for another to come up.Same happened with that and this repeated.I waited for a great idea to spring up in my dream .Still I kept visiting the blog on a daily basis .Read and admired a favorite post for a hundredth time , changed the play list in the music player once in a while , thought of changing the template to a brighter one and decided to stick to the present one after a while , examined the feedjit tracker but never bothered to type something down.Now I realize that I should not wait anymore.
Friends, I regularly read your posts but failed to post my comments .It was a comparatively free time of life which some one 'd wait to get for pleasant activities .But they say , doing nothing on a much awaited vacation is just humane .So I started filling this post with letters only once that period is over( just to keep that universal truth intact or to prove that I too belong to human class! ) .I'm happy that many of you reminded me that the blog is dying and some of you were nice enough to ask ' ya alright?'.After all thats what friends are for( Does this line sound like a Warwick song , yes there is one).
Will be back with some post soon.

Its time to wake up.

Amina tried to hide her tears but her voice came out wet .Everyone in the house knew she was crying.But they can't allow her to stay in the house for some more days .Her aunts have been calling home from the morning gathering bits of information from their network of siblings.They all had the same question to ask ,"What happened? Ami had to leave yesterday ,right? ". These days they know there is something wrong , so answering such questions with a "Nothing , Don't feel like sending my daughter back .After all this is her house." does not help. They should send her back to her in-laws at any cost to keep the nosy relatives away.

Amina thought of the days at her in-laws place.When they realized that the bride's family has failed to present the promised dowry they sent her back home.But she was well aware of the debts her father already had and she kept quiet .She praised her in-laws care for her and returned back after a week promising her mother -in-law that the remaining amount will be sent soon.She didn't know how but she lied so confidently.Next time her in-laws dint bother to send the message with the girl , they went their own and informed their stand.It was a few thousands but her family couldn't even give a five hundred rupee in that situation.

She packed things in a black bag wiping tears with her sleeves.She put the thin golden bangle that barely has a circular shape into a small jewel box.Ami's step mother had removed it from her hands and given to her in the morning .She said,"this is the last thing remaining with me .I don't need a bangle over your life". Amina hugged her tightly and thought' she is not my mother'.The one whom her father married one week after her mother's death.She still remember the bargains that happened during her father's second marriage."I have spent a lot on my first wife's treatment , my only expectation is the dowry they offer .I need such proposals only" her father was shouting at the marriage broker. He was successful in arranging such a wedding.The only ceremony being the promise between her father and his father-in-law in the traditional way.But her father was keen in making sure that the dowry is intact as currency notes and golden ornaments ."This is more than the present day market rate. Remember you got this only because she is a divorcee ", her father gave a dry smile at someone's comment.
The girl who was just five years elder than Amina became her step mom .She and her younger sister didn't even look at her face for a month.But being rude to the children or such things that step mom's from TV soaps do were not in her power.Soon she became close to the girls ,she could never replace their mother but the least she became a friend.She had to watch all the fortunes she brought with her draining out of her husband's hand.

........... this events continued till they sold their house and payed the whole dowry.

Do you think this story of two women sucks? or this is such an unplanned one? .It is because reality sucks in many cases and life is totally unplanned.This is a true story I have witnessed.Amina had given up her graduation since the groom's family wanted her to be in their kitchen.This happened in the state of Kerala which boast of cent percent literacy and awareness and I bet this is not a rare case at least in certain communities and regions. In spite of having enough laws to prevent such things this is not receding.How can people name selling their daughters paying off money 'a prestige issue'? .Or what are the other drives , that I'm unable to understand, to pay off such huge amounts as dowry ? Does anybody think a girl can be happy with someone who bargained with her family to accept her as his partner?
This post is my entry to IndusLadies International Women's Day Blog Contest.Thank you Pinash



Tagging my friends
Ashikshitha
Kavita
Sujata

(Friends I know its too late to tag but you are some women I wish to hear from).
for tagging me.

Sleep baby sleep .

" .... and the fox ran away .", father puts a full stop to the story he made out of nothing .But the kid pulls his hand and demands him to tell what happened to the wise rabbit who taught the fox a lesson. "The rabbit went to his burrow" .Kid raises her head from bed and asks "if the fox returns....if there is another fox " , "No baby , the rabbit reached home safe.Now you sleep" father pats her back and the kid sleeps with her l'il right leg resting on father .
Next day she demands a song .Father sings the only few lines he ever know , night after night whenever the kid wishes.Father sings a lullaby that was written for a young prince.He explains the sights Bhima saw on his way to fetch Sougandhikam and another poem that the kid 'd learn in school after 5 years.Every time dad explains the meaning of each line and some times the kid helps him to complete a story. Kid never thought her father has a terrible sense of music.
Mother has a huge repository of stories but she rarely manages to finish her chores by kid's bedtime.Kid likes to hear the stories that the great grand mother once told to mother. "Bhishma was their grand father ..." , the kid imagined her grand father in a war field which is almost as big as their back yard .She wondered if Bhishma had taken his grand children to the rice fields to show the white cranes as her grand father does.She likes to rest her head on mother's hand and fell asleep.
She dreamed of uncle moon who had followed her all the way that evening in the sky .She had hidden herself inside the house to see if moon follows , to her wonder moon was looking for her right outside the window in the sky .She stopped peeping and shouted loudly ,"I'm here ."

Years went on , she read stories herself , told that to younger cousins and forgot many . But still father and mother stay awake to call the girl at bedtime and make sure their kid is all set to go to bed. Moon is no longer her uncle. The time machine never runs in reverse.

Pic courtesy :storytime

Long live astrologers.

" The company has won the best employer of Asia award last year and there is no doubt on job security ",He added patting his moustache ." And our share price has gone up this year "
"Ohh , is it ?", exclaimed Neethu as she was planning to buy some .
Her pearl necklace which she forcefully put around my neck that morning has started irritating. I could feel the weight of the ear ring which held two arrays of white stones in its silver backbone.
" We get away to Pondichery on weekends , most of our friends are there " , Neethu glanced meaningfully at me since we knew Pondichery is the booz paradise . I was watching two old women wrapped in fine silk having Idlis , the only other customers in the restaurant. Their nose studs looked like nuts and bolts made of gold.
" Whats the nature of your work ?" , he asked and Neethu was explaining some thing . I wondered I have already explained this thing over phone hours ago. Once Neethu finished he talked about the business that the company he work for do and the number of offices they have in India.
" Why don't you talk ?", I wished to say that I was recollecting my employers financial status in the last quarter .But I ended up with " Me?...Oh...yeah , you have a sister ,right?" , He had shared that information over phone.
"Yes , she is married", he said quite unconcerned.
"OK....so you did your graduation before PG ,right?" Every one gave me a puzzled look and I corrected myself ," I mean... from which college?".He said some college name.
"Is that all you wish to know ?", even Neethu was looking at my face .I decided to admit frankly " Eh ...I 'm first time into a scene like this ...so ..." , I tried to smile as brightly as possible so that I can hide my unhappiness. I tried to have the juice but the heavy breakfast which went inside my stomach just 30 minutes ago prevented me from that.
It all started with a phone call from my father the previous day . Some close friends has come up with a wedding proposal and you may receive a call from them .He tried to sound casual but he couldn't. I asked him if he wanted me to get married and sent away . "You are not going to marry this one I'm sure, but the obligation to this friend who came with the proposal ....You can refuse after meeting the guy but turning down the invitation to meet will be inappropriate. And after all its nothing like sending 'away ' ...they too are from the North Kerala."
I nearly screamed, "Why do you think of the possibilities and all these North Kerala stuff...you said this is just ...."
"yes ,it is ....Just informing...", dad finished.
After a while I got a call from this guy very politely introducing himself.A few seconds later he started like
' I have studied this subject , working in this company , I have dad , mom ans a sister at home,she is married , my height ,my weight .............' Felt like I was a recruiter and this candidate has given all the details including his vital status.
He continued like filling the form to join a social network 'what my friends think of me, the city I like to work , the food I crave for....' I got enough time to Google his name while talking and I was surprised by Google's accuracy .The first result was his name and same thing happened with Orkut and Facebook .I went through and tried to find out reasons to avoid the meeting . But this guy had a perfectly diplomatic profile.At the end the meeting place was decided , the restaurant which is famous for Dosas and sweets which smell ghee.
"Ha ha ha ha....", that was Neethu's response ( Why ? ) .
Another friend asked ," why don't you feel interested? Planning for higher studies?"
I said ," No.At least , not very soon "
She lowered her voice ," Got a crush ?"
"You know Rahul Dravid and Tom Cruise are already married ."
"Oh ...You still fantasise those old men !! " She continued,"...Then what ? This is your perfect age to get married."
A cousin who used to argue about being single and enjoying the freedom of life advised ," Go and meet the guy , at least you can blog about it ."

Neethu agreed to accompany me after half an hour of compulsion and we made it to the restaurant next morning. Plenty of time left to the appointment , we had a heavy breakfast .The guy accompanied by a friend arrived after we finished our breakfast and they ordered some fruit juice.
After a while of my aloofness , every body stopped talking .By that time almost all possible questions were asked and facts were informed. The official declaration of the end of meeting came . The waiter brought the bill and placed it at the center of the table as he was not sure who is responsible for payment.

"Its already late for you , you can leave .We 'll settle the bill ." I offered as humbly as possible.His obsession about his employer was not enough to make it to Mr.Punctual title.
"Any way I'm late , I can wait for the bill too.I'll pay ", we gave in when they moved the bill to their side and he pulled out the notes of hundred from his wallet, obviously more than what costs for four fruit juices in an ordinary Chennai restaurant. But he looked at the bill and the currency in his hand.I wondered if they have specified ' payment in South African Rand only '.He put his hands again in the wallet but there were not enough hundreds and he started searching for his cardholder.Meanwhile his friend glanced into the bill and took money from his pocket and closed the bill . Neethu and I wondered how come four juices cost that much .
On the way back Neethu said her hands still smell of the ghee from the breakfast .Suddenly everything made sense.........money,bill,blank looks , going through the bill again and silently paying the bill.They gave a combined bill for our breakfast and the additional juices. Those guys didn't had a clue that we had our breakfast there till they got the bill and they payed for it too .And we ...had forgotten about that part of the bill totally.
Embarrassed we were heading to work , again my phone showed my fathers number and he informed me that some astrologer advised not even to think of wedding for next one year.
Some times I do support astrologers too .


Pic courtesy :gaming today

Wanna buy a train .

I had typed this some months ago and had discarded then itself. Since my blog is starving now a days I'm posting it here.

Warning: This post may contain emotional outbursts which may not suit some readers.

Lemme be straight .I missed my train a couple of hours ago.Now what came to your mind may be a girl looking outside the vehicle impatiently in a traffic jam and gazing at her watch frequently.On reaching the railway station she runs behind the moving train and stops a little bent,panting at the end of the platform.But my case is completely different.
I had booked this ticket one month ago.Unlike my usual sun day night journeys to Chennai , this time it is a Mon day.Obviously a different train but I didn't notice.I was very reluctant to leave home while it rains.I wanted to be here and enjoy every drop of the season.The train and schedule was programmed in my mind according to the usual one.I didn't bothered to see the train name,number or time.I had enough time during the day so that I visited the aunt who was the last in my visiting list.I packed my things as if I had to engage my time with something.
When it was time to leave dad started asking the routine reminders of keeping keys,ID cards,purse....I got irritated ," I'm no more a kid.I know how to take care of such things".This time it was he who got irritated. I again started talking under my lips about leaving home so early . Dad and mom kept quiet this time . We bought hot banana chips and halwa on the way , still one more hour left. As we reached the railway station mom noticed it was almost empty.I couldn't find any info about Chennai express.I approached information counter.When I said Chennai express , the one who was in that counter demanded my ticket."This is a Chennai mail ticket.The train left 2 hours ago ".I could make out every thing in that moment.A flash blinded me for that moment.

I was so embarrassed to face my parents.But we thought of alternatives and ended up with a decision to leave tomorrow.I phoned my superior and got leave for tomorrow too.On the way back , dad kept advising me one after another.I nodded my head in a certain interval.And he hit back with my own point ," You 'll be a kid for us always..."
....Hope I didn't burst emotionally .
I took a resolution to be more careful in everything so that I 'll loose the label " care less".

Later my friends asked me 'Jeeth syndrome?' ...Oh yeah I have watched 'Jab we met' many times.

365 days

I completed one year of the cubicle life this week along with thirty of my peers. It was on the 13Th of October 2008 we were summoned for training to the beautiful coastal city of Mangalore. Mangalore was slowly recovering from the riots and curfews were just called off a week ago.Every one who talked about the place was in all praise of it .Serene beaches , delicious sea food , yet to be polluted and spoiled. The name of the training academy(ELLA) reminds Ella Fitzgerald ( They have kept a picture of her some where inside the campus ) . We were thirty people whose address ends with names of different states in India.
Those days starting early in the morning and ending late at night were the most enjoyed days of my life , keeping the examination part aside.A quick visit to Mangala Devi temple on the days of exams , definitely to bribe the goddess and once the results are announced , to thank . Pani Puri in front of the temple and tender coconut on the way back .

We used to stay in the class room till 12 'o clock every night , to study only if it is the previous day of exam otherwise to play computer games. Evenings at the Amphitheater , noodles as a synonym of food, weekends shopping at HampanKatta , Rinku Punjabi Dhaba,movies , the house keeper sighing at my unmade bed and wardrobe which was a total mess , the cultural fests , birthday celebrations , a few trips ......incredible , I should say . Diwali and New Year were celebrations to cherish . After three months we were all send to different locations , the worst part being 4 of our friends being eliminated.
Those days will remain as one of the most favorite part of my life and the months followed in Chennai were no less wonderful .
On this occasion I wish my friends happy anniversary and a prosperous time ahead .

Vidyarambham

When I was offering prayers I could hear kids crying and screaming from the other part of the temple.Its Vijaya Dashami today , observed as 'Vidyarambham ' in Kerala , which literally means the starting of learning process.Kids at the age of 3 or 4 start their 'formal' education on this day.Being asked to pronounce strange Sanskrit lines scares the kids.I have vague memories of my Vidyarambham.I could recite "Hari shree Ganapathaye Nama: " even before the priest dictated because of my father's effort on the previous day.I glanced at my father's face every now and then and he nodded smiling.Writing the same in red rice felt like a game. ( I had tried this at home many times after Vidyarambham and had got scolded for spilling rice ).Then the priest wrote the same on my tongue with a golden ring.That was years ago.
I made my way through the crowd to get my book after Saraswathi pooja which had already started on the day of Durgashtami and lasts through MahaNavami.Those two days were the most expected days of school life which simply means off to studies by all means.Always the mathematics books were sent for Pooja.Since we used to say " we should not touch the book" , even touching a piece of paper or reading a flash news from TV seemed sin full. During the 9 days of Navarathri most of my friends used to avoid non vegetarian food but in my case I always stay unaware of Navarathri untill it is Saraswathi Pooja. 'AayudhaPooja ' ( Pooja of implements ) too will take place during these days which means even news paper presses would be on holiday.

Back from temple I opened the book and read a line from it.Wrote down the Malayalam alphabet in a paper stopping at every letter and wondering how it is a part of my life .I listened to my kid cousin pronouncing every letter trying hard to keep it sound clear even though two of her front row teeth are missing. Its the fresh restart of learning .